There is one rule that I always try to remember when I am teaching a child. The rule is…

THE CHILD IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE LESSON.

This rule is of utmost importance because no matter how hard I try to teach a lesson perfectly, it will do no good if the child is not receptive to the information being taught. If that child is upset, frustrated, or scared, they will not be in a place where they can receive and retain new information effectively. Therefore, even our best teaching will fall on unreceptive ears.

If we find ourselves trying to teach a child who is grumpy, tired, or has become frustrated with their inability to master the information, it is best to pause, take a break, and change the direction of the discussion before moving on.

An effective teaching tip that I like to employ in these situations, is what I call “The Serious Talk”. This is how this dialogue may sound with a student:

Student:       (frustrated, grumpy, scared, or otherwise disengaged from learning)

Teacher:      “Alright! Pencils down! It’s time we had a serious talk. (wink!)

Student:       (knows what the “serious talk” is, so puts pencil down gladly)

Teacher:      (face to face, eye to eye, and facing the student)

                    “I have something VERY important I need to discuss with you. YOU are doing a remarkable job! I have been noticing that you are working extremely hard, even when what we are working on is difficult! I’m noticing that you are not giving up, even though you probably want to! That is remarkable! I also have noticed that you are trying your very best, which is an incredible character trait that will help you to do amazing things in life! If you keep this up, working hard, not giving up, and trying your best at all the important things in life, you will do wonderful things! Now, talk to me for a minute about your favorite things. I’m interested.”

          What has just happened, is the teacher has remembered that as important as what they are trying to teach is, that child is even more important than the lesson. So the teacher started focusing on the child – instead.

          The teacher started reminding the student of all the things they are doing RIGHT and allowed the child to own those things as character qualities – that can’t be taken away by anyone. This allowed for the student to release the stress that had a clutch on them, and replace feelings of dread or fear with feelings of peace and pride.

          THEN, the teacher was not yet done. At the end of their “serious talk”, the teacher did not go back to the lesson immediately, but was willing to take a couple more minutes to discuss some of the child’s favorite things. They may have talked about the child’s favorite animal, movie, book, hobby, food, etc…. This type of conversation can REPLACE feelings of anxiety with feelings of fondness and memories of happy things.

          When the teacher can see that the student is calmer and more relaxed, their lesson can resume. At this point, the child has had a break, they have been reminded of how great the are, and they will have had the pleasure of sharing about the things they love.

          If we always remember rule number one, that we are teaching the child – not the lesson, then the child will feel they are in safe hands and will therefore be more empowered to learn.